Spring Cleaning.

It is finally Springtime, a season I have been so desperately needing. With it came the abundance of arrivals and changes that leave me with a nostalgic feeling of refreshment. The cherry trees are sharing their beautiful pink pedals with us on our cars and sidewalks, the sunshine trying so diligently to break through those dark Oregon clouds, and the ample smell of freshly cut lawns filling our nostrils- a beautiful preview to what the summer will hold. Though all these picturesque shifts in our environment should signify change and detraction from the pain previously surrounding us; that is not always the case. These past couple of weeks I've felt suffocated by pain and sorrow. Whether it be my own troubles squandering my daily thoughts, my family's uncertainty with current troubles, or close friends seeking the blue skies they wish to see again; hope seems to be dwindling away. Why is this? Shouldn't the sunshine and natural vitamin d bring a lush feeling of happiness? Or the closeness of summer and freedom from school or work set us at ease? Perhaps, the reminder of being reunited with loved ones will ignite our internal fire? Though these grammatically correct and poetic visuals I've created for you sound beautiful and attainable, they really aren't. Our surroundings cannot decide for us how our day, week, or life will turn out. Yes, the sunshine is an irreplaceable hook that may pull us out of bed every morning, but the real lure is your willingness to cognitively adapt to your surroundings. Every day holds the possibility for beauty, no matter how dark or bleak it may seem. Irrelevant are the troubles weighing you down or the sadness you are afflicting upon yourself. Wake up! Life is too short to spend your days sulking or feeling sorry for the means presented to you. I am sure in your eyes things could be far different, but that eagerness for a "better" you will consistently remain until you change what you have control over. Yes, you could have more money, a special relationship you are so desperately desiring, a career you might absolutely love, or "just one more chance to prove yourself" in whatever field that may be relevant. The point being is you cannot change the past and you cannot alter the choices you made or didn't make so why spend your time negatively thinking about the different paths your life COULD have taken, 'could' being the operative word. A saying I have used a lot recently and something I truly believe in is: "You cannot control the cards you have been dealt, but you can control how you play them." Something about this strikes a chord in me, it awakens my thoughts and forces me to dream outside of my body, away from my comfortable box of theories i've collected over the years. I believe you are only limited by your ability to think outside the realm of possibility. The ability to make excellent choices is the cornerstone of a highly successful person. Rather than dwell on bad choices i've made in the past, I focus on the future knowing that though I may have failed, I am not a failure. No person, medication or environment change could alter how I look at my life and the possibilities it may hold. I am the captain to my own ship in the sea of life and if my boat sinks, I have no one to blame but myself. Every hole can be patched up with an opportunity to change-whether you decide to patch your broken boat up or let it sink to the depths of nothingness is up to you. I am lucky I have the most amazing family and friends to help me patch up the holes life has created for me. I couldn't ask for anything else, though the feeling of being unconditionally loved is intangible, the support they give me is a comfort I feel on a daily basis. I only hope you as well share this feeling and have the inner strength to overcome any hole in your life, no matter how big or how small it may be. Life is beautiful, embrace every second of it.