Love Is Not The Movement.

I have been thinking a lot about relationships lately. Talking with friends who are in them, people who are longing for them, and others who are completely against them. I find myself kind of right in the middle. This is the first time and the longest time in my life where I have been without a companion. I know I am young and have a lifetime of chances ahead of me, but I can't help but wonder why things have happened like they have. Through this new adventure, I have found a solitude so comfortable and fulfilling. It is a feeling I cannot express, something I have been longing to find for a very long time. You always pretend that you're stronger than you really are after leaving a relationship. Like that split was not going to get you down or stop you from dreaming. I know I had acted that way and put up a shield, one that made me seem stronger than I really was. It wasn't until a few weeks ago that I realized that the whole time trying to believe that, I was unknowingly growing stronger, I was finding myself and my solitude. Accepting your fate, learning how to be alone and still remaining happy, are very difficult things to achieve. We always want to change whats supposed to happen so it can please us the way we want it to. I know I stayed in relationships longer than I should have because I was hoping I could change the outcome, when in reality I couldn't. Acceptance is the key, but that doesn't make the pain go away or the questions disappear. Finding solitude is the only way to do that, to be ok with being alone and to not jump right into another relationship. In the past 6 months, I have found out so many things about myself. I love to write, and over the years I lost touch with that. I love to meet people and inspire them in some way, my first year in college I forgot what that felt like. I enjoy making others happy by doing things for them and with no thought for myself, this brings so much joy to my life. My dreams are only as big as I make them, regardless of what cards I am dealt. Lastly, I forgot how lucky I am to be blessed with such an inspiring and loving family, one I took for granted many times. Life has taken on a new meaning. I am no longer looking for someone to fill that spot, I know this time has been given to me so I can find peace of mind and solitude. I know that when I am ready for a new relationship, God will arrange a meeting with that man. Until that day comes, I am living my life free from ties, and patience to guide me through.